2.) The Corridor D Project - Only people that live in the Mid-Ohio Valley know what I'm talking about. My friend Ashley and I had our first experience on it when she went to Parkersburg for a homecoming dress. Let's just say we took two dead end turns, almost got hit by some old dumbass in a crappy car, and it took us 5 minutes just to get out of that one area when it should've took less than a minute. We have a specific quote we used at the time to describe it, but for censor purposes, you'll have to ask me or her what it is, however it pretty much sums it up.

 

3.) "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service" - Again, this perplexes me. This could be very misleading to a naive person, such as myself. I could walk into the mall with a shirt, shoes, and no pants. Now some of you are probably saying, "Alicia, you're really dumb because nobody would do that." Oh, but I would just to see what would happen because I'm just that curious of a person, plus I always wanted to know how being in the back of a police car felt like.

 

4.) Cliques - This has been around for a long time, and I know there's nothing I as one person can do to stop cliques from happening. Though it's screwed up, I sorta support it, but yet I sorta don't. I support it in the fact that it keeps people together that are in the same level of stupidity. I don't support it for the fact that it lets you miss out on getting to know some really cool people. I mean, myself for example have never really had a "clique" to belong to, and I think that's a good thing. I know people that are known as "preps", "dorks", "punks", "goths", "eggheads", "rednecks", and so forth. And in each of those categories, I know some really awesome people that I personally don't even have cliques that I put them in. Too bad the rest of the world can't be like this.

 

5.) Dress Codes - It's not that I don't like them, it's just that from what personal experience I've had, it's not really enforced. It's only enforced by certain people for certain people. What's the point of saying no revealing shirts when you swear sometimes you're at a Playboy photo shoot. And there's no point in saying no baggy pants when you think a guy accidentally forgot to put on pants because you see so much of their boxers. But I'll give the administration props for not being dictators toward this stuff.

 

6.) Technology - When I say this, I'm only talking about the stuff that can be improved on drastically. When people make computer viruses and worms that infect everything in it's path like Blaster just because of a flaw in the Microsoft Windows program, that should say something to Bill Gates: FIX YOUR SOFTWARE!!!! And it's not just that, but it's also internet connections. I have wireless, and people think it must be so much easier. Well, it is.....when it works. Which these days it's very rare. And dial-up is just as stupid because when it does connect, it either connects well for a few minutes or connects crappily for as long as you're online.

 

7.) War in Iraq - I take government now and I still don't understand why we went to war. Sure, September 11th is the main reason, that and terrorism, but what else? We're sending tons of men overseas that shouldn't even be there...men that are getting killed by the day. The politicans don't care who gets killed because it's not them or their family that are being brought home in body bags; All they care about is killing Sadaam and killing Bin Laden. I never wanted Bush in office, and now maybe everyone is realizing that he shouldn't be there.

 

8.) Coupons - Ok, now on to a lighter subject. I  love coupons, but what I hate is expiration dates. Why can't they make all coupons with no expiration dates? I love a good deal, and I think everyone in the world does. I've never heard one person say "Yeah I like paying full price for everything I buy" or "I hate discounts!" I'm always getting coupons for stuff, but when I remember to use them, I don't bring them with me.

 

9.) Football - This was just brought up by my friend Ashley and I in a conversation while writing this. There's two main reasons I don't like it. One: It grabs a guy's attention more than Pam Anderson without a top on. It's like a powerful magnet to all heterosexual men. Second: My school's football team. For the past few years, the team has sucked. Not that I'm saying the players suck, they have plenty of talent. There's just not enough of them. And because people are so obsessed with my school's football team, they don't remember that our Cross Country team is really good, our Volleyball team is really good, our Golf Team is really good, and even the band this year is better thanks to a new director. When will the injustice end?

 

10.) Vanilla Sky - This is the most screwed up movie in the whole world. I watched it and I said at the very end (I remember the reaction distinctly) "What the f*** was that?" It was so confusing. I mean I've heard of plot twists, but that had quite a few too many. Warning to those who see it: You just paid to prove how dumb we simple people are.

 

11.) Dumb State Laws -  Now most of us at one point in our life have heard of all the dumb laws made in different states. But my problem with it is this: why were they passed in the first place?? I mean most of the dumb laws you hear are common sense like an Ohio law that makes it illegal to make a fish drunk; or they're downright ridiculous like a Virginia law that says you're not allowed to have sex with the lights on. To get a better idea of how outrageous the laws are, and how outraged I am about them, go to www.dumblaws.com.

 

12.) Stores in Malls - Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying malls in general are stupid, I mean I'm a red-blooded, teenage American of course I'm gonna love malls. But the way the stores in the mall are arranged are stupid. My friend Ashley and I went to the Meadowbrook mall a couple days ago and she mentioned how Afterthoughts and Claires were right beside each other. Well, at the Grand Central Mall, they're in completely different areas of the building. Why not make it easier on the comparison shopper like myself and group them by what they sell. Put all the shoes in one section of the mall and make it easier on my feet! However, when I think about it, maybe it's a conspiracy to make us tired so we'll all go to the food court and spend more money on refreshments.....never thought of that, DID YOU!?

 

13.) "Baby": I bring this up as the nickname people use for their girlfriends or boyfriends. This is such a general term and it doesn't make much sense to me. I mean, do people really see it a compliment being called something that can't eat solid food and craps uncontrollably? I don't want to be referred as that.To all you lovers out there, be creative! I think it'd be sweet if I had a name that no other girl had.....it makes it seem like the guy thinks of them especially. Just wait, if you're with your boyfriend in the mall, they're walking away and you yell, "Baby!" and all these guys will look at you and go "what?"......see, it's too generic.

 

14.) Ridiculous Lawsuits: This sorta goes hand in hand with dumb laws, but what incited me to write about this is a lawsuit I saw today on Yahoo. A woman in Tennesee is suing Janet Jackson, Justin Timberlake, CBS, and MTV for the Super Bowl halftime incident. GIVE ME A BREAK! Lady, in case you didn't know already, you got breasts too. Everyone will eventually see breasts at least once in their life, so get used to them! I mean sure I didn't wanna see Janet Jackson's boob either, but I did, was shocked, and got on with my life. Besides, if she had half a brain, she'd understand what comes next....a guy's gonna want to top Janet by showing his manlihood! Duh! So stop complaining, you friggin crybabies.

 

15.) Spyware: Ok, before I continue, I just gotta remind the readers at home that it's past midnight and I'm writing this...so bear with me.Now my good friend was telling me about her computer screwing up because of all this spyware and adware downloaded on her computer without her knowing. I gotta say that this spyware crap is making me quite pissy. Now I'm no computer expert....not gonna begin to sit and tell you that I am. From what my Dad has ranted about, spyware lets hackers get into your computer easier or something (I'm not 100% sure because I tend to block out when Dad screams...it's kinda loud). But I mean, c'mon, who would want to waste their time making other people wanna rip their hair out when they're trying to run their computer. I just wanna say that hackers don't have anything better to do than piss people off and that includes me. SO STOP IT!!

 

16.) Gay Marriages: Aughh.....can't believe I'm talking about this...I swore I wouldn't touch this mass hysteria known as gay marriage. Bush wants to make an Amendment banning all gay marriages....forever. Ok, now I'm straight and enjoy being straight (just ask me about my boyfriend), but I think gay men and woment should have the same rights as us. Now I don't wanna SEE all the stuff they do because I rarely do the PDA thing myself, but I think they should have that right. Remember.....Liberty and Justice for ALL....not just herterosexuals. Besides, how would us straight people like it if we weren't allowed to marry? What if it was completely the opposite....that being gay was the norm and being straight was known as the oddity? Wouldn't like not having Laura around to laugh with you and not AT you (unlike the rest of the country), would you Mr. Bush?

 

17.)Cleaning Up WV's Rep: Before I rant, I just want to say beforehand that I like West Virginia; I've lived here since I was 3 and it's a great state. HOWEVER.....us West Virginians are known to other states as "Western Virginia" or as a bunch of stupid hicks that are quite fond of incest. In case you don't know me at all or not very well, I like talking politics every now and then....especially state politics. I went to Girls State last month and got to hear Joe Manchin talk about what he would do to change the state's image. He basically said all the people living in our state needed to spread the good word and set a good example. Now even though I like Manchin and hope he wins come November, right now our state isn't doing a good job (lest we forget A&F's 'It's all relative' shirt?). I just saw a news report on a chicken farm in Moorefield that had killed chickens inhumanely and sold them to KFC. I decided to look into it and watched their undercover film. I was disgusted.....and a little pissed! What a way to break the dumb hick stereotype by throwing chickens against a wall, ripping their beaks off, and writing on the walls with their blood! Also it turns out that this is the second time this company has been looked into for this sort of stuff. If we aren't careful, we'll be known as hicks AND barbarians!

 

18.)Young Hollywood: I've got a problem with alot of teen actresses and actors today. I'm honestly ashamed to claim some of these people as part of my generation. I watch all these shows about the old times when Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney were our age and how sophisticated they were. Now I really despise the way teen actors carry themselves today. Paris Hilton.....famous for absolutely nothing......dresses like a homeless tramp. Hilary Duff is so fake and sugary that looking at her makes me develop diabetes. I used to like Lindsay Lohan as an actress and thought she had alot of potential....until she started smoking and popping out of all her clothes like a fat chick wearing Limited Too clothing. As for Britney (should've known I'd mention her) there's nothing I can really say that would explain how truly feel. She's a TERRIBLE role model and an impulsive slut who wouldn't know decency if it married her in Vegas. It's not just girls either......oh no. Frankie Muniz isn't as cute as he was when he was little, that he can't help, however he is the most spoiled brat I've ever seen! He's got all these fancy cars and he freaked when he got Punk'd by Ashton.....what a freaking crybaby.

19.) Trig Class: Trig and math in general is gay. period. That's all I have to say about that one.